Friday

Rendezvous with my former self

There is nothing noble in being superior to other person. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self." In one of my illusion I had rendezvous with my former self. . A rendezvous to remember....A talk to remember. We both approached each other. My former self is standing in front of me. I can’t call it a shadow or something which exactly resemble me because I am indeed very much different from my former self. I can’t help but wonder is it really me? Do I used to look like that? Or it is just a hypothetical framework which is part of my illusion. I started behaving like an anatomist. I didn’t even left my former self from my nature of passing judgment but when I gave a 2nd thought to it I found that it is part of human tendency that we pass judgment on what we feel and experience and I am no exception.


I was in deep though thinking what exactly is going on then suddenly I heared a sound. I came out of my utopia leaving besides my going on thinking process and what I saw is that my former self is still standing infront of me and want to say something. I approached towards him but he resisted. The more I tried to come closer to him he was moving away from me as much distance as I am moving towards him. I asked in my stammering voice "why you are not allowing me to come close to you"? He replied with a predictable smile on his face that "you can’t increase or decrease the distance which is present between you and me. We both are infact part of same self still so different. We are like two ends of a river. When the water from one end of river reaches to the other end lot of things get added and separated. The whole composition of river changes. Both ends are part of same river still so much difference in their composition and structure. And one more jeopardy is that they can never meet. They are connected with each other through water still they can’t increase or decrease the width which is present between them. Same is the case between you and me. There is demarcation between us and it is not possible to cross that line."


Being skeptical I tried to resisted thoughts narrated by my former self but his thoughts are so true and powerful that I was compelled to accept them.
I realize that there is noticeable difference between me and my former-self. Change is not just good but it’s critical for survival and may be that would be the reason for the difference which is present between me and my former self. It’s better to compare oneself with the former self rather than with people around us. "for heaven sake never get in the habit of comparing your self worth against others net worth" these were the last words which my former self spoke to me before I came out of my illusion and entered into so called real and practical world.