Journey Continues....

Today is just another day. like every day i wake up late , got late for college and as usual still suffering from driving phobia. somehow i reached college. there i came to know that few people from some youth organization are coming and they going to give a sort of presentation. i thought this presentation is going to be another example of narcissism. i was not at fault. my previous experience made me felt like that. they arrived and i went. they were busy arranging they brought and audience(including me) are busy gossiping and talking as expected from educated audience like us. the show begun. the presentation was fine. but the facts they mentioned about organization forced me to give 2nd thought to it. i took up the form and filled it. just for the sake of filling as everyone else is doing why shouldnt i?

I got a call from this youth organization to make me aware about date on which group discussion will take place. i went for group discussion. when i reached there i was nervous as well as excited. excited because this group discussion is going to be my 1st official group discussion and i want to make it special. me and other candidates were called in a distinct room and GD commenced. i always assumed GD to be like FISH market. but here people are quite civilised or i would rather say not so full of ideas. during whole GD i was speaking like hell (as i always perceive GD as fish market) so that my fishes(ideas and thought) should be heard and finally sold(accepted).the observer who was assessing us was contradicting and confronting me intensely as if he gonna buy my fishes(errr..ideas). i answered almost all his quarries confidently but he doesnt sound impressed with me. anyways who cares???.......I CARE...

I left the premises with a thought that chances of my selection are not so high....

To my surprise i cleared that GD round and they called me for interview. they want me to be in formal. FORMAL AND YOUTH ORGANIZATION...i found it unusual...the judgement day arrived. i was in formal and sitting infront of interviewer... he greeted me and i did the same...he started interacting.

GOSH! what is this?..does this interviewer vocal cords not developed..why his voice is so low??...and secondaly he is calling me with different name(i hope he has enough grey matter in THE BRAIN)...changing name sounds like i am suffering from identity crisis...god forbid me...i dont wanna be one of the i confronted him politely and made him correct. he apologized and started asking different questions...though few question sounded goofy to me but i answered them quite seriously..
He is still calling me with a different name . at that moment i thought of gifting him a memory booster tonic. the interview went asi asi(so -so)...i lost hope of being selected......but still some spark is there which made me felt that i was not that bad.

HURRAY! finally,I i got a call and i got selected!!!!

so now my journey starts or i would say JOURNEY CONTINUES......

Rendezvous with my former self

There is nothing noble in being superior to other person. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self." In one of my illusion I had rendezvous with my former self. . A rendezvous to remember....A talk to remember. We both approached each other. My former self is standing in front of me. I can’t call it a shadow or something which exactly resemble me because I am indeed very much different from my former self. I can’t help but wonder is it really me? Do I used to look like that? Or it is just a hypothetical framework which is part of my illusion. I started behaving like an anatomist. I didn’t even left my former self from my nature of passing judgment but when I gave a 2nd thought to it I found that it is part of human tendency that we pass judgment on what we feel and experience and I am no exception.

I was in deep though thinking what exactly is going on then suddenly I heared a sound. I came out of my utopia leaving besides my going on thinking process and what I saw is that my former self is still standing infront of me and want to say something. I approached towards him but he resisted. The more I tried to come closer to him he was moving away from me as much distance as I am moving towards him. I asked in my stammering voice "why you are not allowing me to come close to you"? He replied with a predictable smile on his face that "you can’t increase or decrease the distance which is present between you and me. We both are infact part of same self still so different. We are like two ends of a river. When the water from one end of river reaches to the other end lot of things get added and separated. The whole composition of river changes. Both ends are part of same river still so much difference in their composition and structure. And one more jeopardy is that they can never meet. They are connected with each other through water still they can’t increase or decrease the width which is present between them. Same is the case between you and me. There is demarcation between us and it is not possible to cross that line."

Being skeptical I tried to resisted thoughts narrated by my former self but his thoughts are so true and powerful that I was compelled to accept them.
I realize that there is noticeable difference between me and my former-self. Change is not just good but it’s critical for survival and may be that would be the reason for the difference which is present between me and my former self. It’s better to compare oneself with the former self rather than with people around us. "for heaven sake never get in the habit of comparing your self worth against others net worth" these were the last words which my former self spoke to me before I came out of my illusion and entered into so called real and practical world.